For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this love-hate relationship with my birthday. It could be the fact it falls dead in the middle of the last grizzly weeks of winter when everything is slushy and grey and gross. No one feels like celebrating in March. It’s just as likely, as someone prone to anxiety, a day reminding me of my mortality feels a little overkill. I’ve tried hosting parties, getting people to meet at a bar. I’ve gone on trips and tried doing nothing. There’s kind of no escaping it. It’s just a day, and it will pass, but generally speaking, I’ve never known how to enjoy it. No matter how many people are nearby or where I run off to, it’s the one day where I'm most likely to stay inside my head the entire time. The day I tend to feel the most aware of my “alone-ness.”

The funny thing is that the other 364 days of the year, I can’t seem to get enough time to myself. I think whoever invented “alone time” must have had people like me in mind. We called it “Casey Time” when I was little—a need to be sequestered away from everyone else, preferably with a book, or better yet, on the beach nearby, even in the coldest days of winter. I took long walks in the woods, picking up half-buried beer bottles or surf-worn pebbles and sea glass. I loved listening to the wind and the waves hitting the jetty. As I grew older, alone time began to incorporate other treats. Trashy double features with homemade brownies snuck into the theater in my coat pocket. A weekend road trip with no real end point in mind. In a pinch? A plate of food or a gin martini. A feast with no other witnesses.

Cooking for one is an art. It can be indulgent, it can be simple, but above all else, it must be delightful. M.F.K. Fisher, who I consider the Godmother of my fellow prickly independents, famously wrote: “A is for dining alone.” She wrote arch treatise after treatise on the merits of cooking and eating for one, and declared what we cook for ourselves when no one is looking is a sign of self-respect.

That doesn’t mean I go all out. Sometimes you will want a frozen pizza, and that’s great. My point here is cooking for YOU should feel like a dinner party for yourself. Cook what you would make for anyone else you love. Cook what you might feel too embarrassed to eat in front of someone else, I am a fan of a sloppy plate of wings when this mood strikes. Whatever you do, make it a celebration, even if it is Digiorno, and hell, I’m not here to turn you off pepperoni. What I can say is it’s nice to set the table. Use a cloth napkin. Uncork a bottle of wine. Relish this time.

Like Ms. Fisher, if I’m cooking a solo meal I gravitate towards eggs. They’re quick and easy, and when I’ve had a long day and don’t know what else to do, they always do the trick. Do you know what’s even better than eggs? Brown butter infused with crushed chili and garlic. Lately, I fry eggs sunny-side up in plenty of olive oil until lacy at the edges. I serve them over a tangle of greens, with sour cream or labne, and then I generously douse said pile with chili butter. Because we only live once and each of us deserves to eat well, even when no one is looking.

Fried Eggs With Chili Butter

INGREDIENTS

2 Large Eggs
2-3 Cups Kale or Fresh Spinach, washed and dried, coarsely chopped
3 Tbs Unsalted Butter
1/2 teaspoon Urfa Biber or Aleppo Pepper 
2 Garlic Cloves, one sliced and one crushed
1 teaspoon Unseasoned Rice Vinegar
1 Tbs. Fresh Mint
1 Tbs. Fresh Cilantro

1/2 Cup Labne, Sour Cream Or Yogurt

1/4 Cup Olive Oil, Reserved
Salt + Pepper

DIRECTIONS

1. Place 2 Tbs. Olive oil in a medium cast iron or nonstick skillet. To this add the sliced garlic cloves and sauté for 30 seconds, until fragrant. Add the greens and cook until they begin to wilt. Toss with the Rice Vinegar and a pinch of salt and pepper, then transfer to a bowl and set aside.

2. In a small saucepan, place the butter, crushed garlic clove and a pinch of salt. Cook over medium-low heat until the butter begins to foam. Take off the heat once it’s nicely browned, about 5-6 minutes. Set aside.

3. Place the remaining 2 Tbs of olive oil in the skillet over medium heat. Once it’s hot, add the eggs. To fry sunny side up, splash with a teaspoon of water and cover the pan with a lid for about 2 minutes to set the whites.

4. To serve, swoosh the labne or sour cream on the bottom of the plate or a shallow bowl. Place the greens on top, followed by the eggs. Spoon the chili butter over this. Scatter herbs over the top and serve with toast.

   Serves 1.